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Lionel Trane
Lionel Trane (Michael J. Willett) is an expressive and abrasive gay teen who starts the school's LGBT advocacy group. Marshall resents him at first because he is too over-the-top and seems to like drama and conflict, but over the course of season two, they become closer and closer friends, and eventually boyfriends. Marshall and Lionel break up because Marshall cheats on him, but remain friends until Lionel is killed in an off-screen automobile accident. [http://www.unitedstatesoftara.wikia.com/wiki/Yes Yes] In Yes, Lionel is introduced. He sees Marshall walking in the lunch room and invited him to sit at the "fruit bowl" or "gayble" or gay table. Just then, Courtney introduces herself to Marshall as "straight but not narrow". They talk about Marshall helping with the "gay carnations" (the gay carnations are purple presumably because that is a color used to resemble gay rights) and explain the carnations as a whole idea in the school and how there is a Sweetheart day and depending on the level of relationship, students send each other select-colored flowers and Lionel is petitioning it. Marshall suggests just sending red because love is love (that is what the red flower represented). "Not according to the government" Lionel says "when the legislation colors us all the same then we can use the same colors". Marshall says he will just send red. Lionel tells him to "Send a red flower from his little closet". Later in the episode, Marshall is standing outside of a room in the school when he sees Lionel talking with the principal. He insists its not about gay rights, but human rights and the principal says he may send a flower to whoever he wants and that she hears more about the gay kids than the regular students to which he says "I am a regular student" he then goes on about the straight kids 'prom bullshit'. At the end of the episode, Marshall ends up handing out purple carnations (the first of them to Lionel and another to his friend) and he hands out many to random people. [http://www.unitedstatesoftara.wikia.com/wiki/Trouble_Junction Trouble Junction] In the episode Trouble Junction Lionel starts a club in the school where gay students may speak freely, called the GLBTA (Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Association) at the time that it is decided the club would be GLBTA, Courtney suggests a word that includes straight kids who support gay students, at which point Lionel sarcastically remarks that she should start a group called "Frenemas" and she answers that she believes the word is "Frenemies" and he says "I said 'Frenema' and I meant 'Frenema', missy." It is then revealed he was joking when he says "That's a friend you can call to come over and help clean you out before a big date." Marshall argues about the other minorities and gives the example of "Independents" etc. He is next shown when Marshall is getting himself dressed for gym class and he teases Marshall for having given out the purple flowers supporting him and now calling himself an "Independent" which is someone not sure of their sexuality but also does not think they must choose a title/sexuality. Marshall ignores it and asks about a test. Lionel then makes a sexual comment (possibly directed at Marshall, possibly not) to which Marshall says "God, would you shut up for once Lionel fucking Trane? Every single word that comes out of your mouth is about sex or asses-" and Lionel cuts him off with "Because it's funny." Marshall is about to leave when Lionel and he are called fags by a boy named Josiah and Lionel says "You want this shit so bad you dream about it, Josiah." after which Marshall claims that Lionel 'ruins it' for other gay people saying that he makes being gay something that no one would ever want to be and says that he is "Asking for it" and "Wants Josiah to call him a fag", to which Lionel says "He means it with love" In a sarcastic tone, hinting at how Lionel never takes anything seriously. He then tells Marshall that he may identify as I (Indepentent) or Bisexual but to look in the mirror because he even chose the gay size in gym shorts. Marshall then tells Lionel that his "fucking face" is the "fucking gay size" to which Lionel looks sincerely hurt but does not say anything and then Marshall leaves for gym class. The Truth Hurts In The Truth Hurts Lionel is shown mouthing the words to a play as the actors practice it. IT is assumed that he is the director of the play. He stops practice and gets on stage and says "Alex, you're playing a doctor from the olden days, not a slutty dental hygienist" then he says "Places" and the scene switches to Marshall and Courtney. Doin' Time Lionel is first shown in Doin' Time when Marshall is reading the literary journal from their school and Lionel laughs. Marshall begins to say something about Courtney but Lionel mimics his words and tells him that he can be bisexual, but he doesn't have to "get with every girl that crushes on you". He makes a remark about Madonnas biceps as Kate walks in the room with her laptop showing Lionel and Marshall the video she shot with Lynda, in which she portrays Princess Valahalla Hawkwind, saying "Looky, it's getting out of hand". Lionel says that Marshall already showed him, comments on the amount of views saying that Kate is a "national treasure" and then begins reading comments. He stays quite while Kate and Marshall converse until Kate screams into a pillow because she is worried that Lynda is jealous of her or thinks she is just 'some loser kid" and that she hates her. In response he says "I thought you said your mom ''was psycho". 'Dept. of F'd Up Family Services' In Dept. of F'd Up family Services, Lionel, Hany, and Marshall are all sitting at a diner, talking about Courtney and that Marshall should have already broken up with her. Lionel suggests that if she doesn't want to break up to tell her that fucking her was like fucking a rusty old can of rusty thumb tacs. Courtney then walks in and realizes that they aren't on a date and asks if Hany is the new boyfriend. Later, still in the diner, Marshall is trying to break up with Courtney but can't do it very well, Courtney is mad and demands he form a sentence. Lionel then says "I live for this shit" and rolls his eyes, clearly enjoying the awkwardness of the break up. Marshall tried again and does a poor job. Hany tells Courtney how Marshall feels, then Courtney asks if its true. When it's confirmed, Lionel sits up, looking between them, still enjoying the awkwardness. Courtney asks for some pie as Lionel sips his tea. Marshall tried to say something but is interrupted when Courtney says "Just get me some fucking pie" and in response, Lionel chokes on his tea a little. 'Explosive Diorama' Lionel gives his opinion on the gayness of one of his and Marshall's classmates and then Marshall asks about the gayness scale. Marshall suggests that a 10 on the scale is queeny, flouncy, flamy homo in the land and gives an example and when he says a 1 he gives the example of Jason Maurio (likely because of the experience he had with Jason). Lionel thinks that Jason is more gay than that. Lionel asks about Marshall's sexual experience with Jason and Marshall tells him they only made out and dry humped. Lionel remarks that'it must have been tough to stay dry". Following with how he is attracted to "manlys, 1s and 2s". Marshall asks Lionel what number he is and Lionel tells Marshall he is a 5. Marshall rejects the rating with how he talks and walks non-gay and how people don't even know he's gay unless he's "blowing them". Lionel says "Aw, Marshalls coming out of his little turtle shell." Marshall says he isn't a turtle and Lionel calls him a turtle once more. Marshall later asks his sister what number he is to which she responds 10. Then he says that 10 is the gayest and she jokes that he is an 11 instead. Max suggests that because Tara won't be home for dinner because she is working on her art, Marshall invite Lionel over for dinner and Marshall says no. Max then suggests that Marshall invite Lionel to Tara's art show tomorrow and Marshall tells his dad to stop pimping him. At Tara's art show, Marshall, Lionel, and Hany attend together along with Hany's partner. Lionel takes Hany by the hand and pulls him somewhere. Marshall talks with Tara for a short while before Lionel calls his name and Marshall leaves Tara for him. Later, still at Tara's art show, Lionel is in the bathroom and dusts off a sign then begins to crush adderall saying they were going to do A-Bombs. Marshall says maybe they shouldn't in the bathroom. Lionel says art, bathroom, drugs, its almost like being in New York". He gives it to Hany to snort it in a home-made-looking contraption. Marshall is looking out of the abthroom door when Lionel says "Marshy? Toot toot?" pressuring him to snort it. Lionel then hands it to Marshall saying "Come to the dark side, my little turtle". They both snort it together. When Max says he doesn't like Tara's art, unbeknownst that it is her art, Tara and he get in a fight. At first Lionel is helping Marshall with his nose as it looks, his nose is bleeding. Lionel and Marshall are standing on the sidelines quietly watching the fight. When it's over, Marshall comforts his mom and Lionel stays where he is. 'The Family Portrait' Tara asks Marshall to pose for her after school because she wants to paint a family portrait. Marshall says it'll be a while because he has plans to go to the mall with Lionel because Lionel just received a check from his dad in Omaha and he wants to "blow it". Marshall then walks outside and his neighbor Ted walks out of his house and yells about how Hany left him because he did the A-Bomb with Lionel and Marshall. Ted tells Marshall to tell Lionel that he hopes he gets the clap. Marshall and Lionel are shown in the office, Marshall is worrying that they're in trouble for doing drugs because Ted may have told the principal that they did drugs. "Marshall Jesus Christ Gregson" Lionel says and continues that it is not his fault that they broke up. When they are in the office, the principal begins talking about AIDs and then Marshall says AIDs is not transmitted though snorting drugs. "And that's good news" the principal says. Lionel gives the vibe that Marshall needs to chill out. The principal says that the county's AIDs awareness program has given the school 10,000 condoms "in every color of the beloved rainbow". She explains that "obviously" when she thinks of AIDs she thinks of them and their friends. Lionel says "well I guess we're flattered?". She says "Meaning, Lionel, I know how important safe sex is to your little community" and she gave them the option to distribute the condoms, saying no more than ten per student. They accept. She suggests making posters about proper condom usage. "Nothing too splashy or in-your-face." She dismisses them and Marshall questions "Nothing too splashy or in-your-face?" Lionel answers "I'll splashy in your face if you're not careful". 'Open House' Marshall pulls into the park's parking lot and Lionel complains about how nervous Marshall looks. Marshall claims he isn't nervous but actually excited. Lionel tells Marshall they don't have to actually ''do anything, justs get out of the car and see what happens. "Its just sharing parts of your body with a stranger. It's - you know it's not scary. It's hot." Marshall says that it actually is scary and asks 'how many more merit badges do I have to earn before I'm gay enough"? Lionel is explaining how the whole system works. Someone will ask what you'res into and if you're is into him, go off and explore. Marshall asks what he, himself is even into. Lionel says "I feel so bad for breeders. Being gay is like living in a buffet". They then walk up to a man, Lionel speaks of the days nice weather and the man says "Let's take a walk." Lionel gives his name "Joaquin". "Let's go for a walk, Joaquin." says the man and he takes Lionel's hand and they are off. Marshall has no guy hitting on him yet. Marshall sees a man eating lunch and has a short conversation with him before Ted, the neighbor, shows up and takes him away from the place. To Have and to Hold Marshall walks into Charmaine's room because Kate is in there looking through her closet. They are talking about Kate's relationship when she asks "Where Lionel be at?" and Marshall tells her they aren't talking or at least that he thinks Lionel is ignoring him. Marshall says they think they realized they're two totally different types of people. Kate is sarcastic when saying "Fascinating. I'm having a total revelation". Marshall then asks Kate for help. Marshall is washing dishes when Lionel walks into the kitchen. Lionel says "I know you feel bad about deserting me at the park, Marshall, and it's totally ok." Marshall says "I don't feel bad. You left me. I was njust trying to get out of there before I became somebody's wife." Lionel says "It's man-sex, not matrimony." Marshell then questions Lionel asking if he had sex with the guy. Lionel says they went back to the guy's house and says how he romanced him up with lit candles, red wine, and they watched the special features on the "Dawson's Creek" box sex. He said that the man kissed each of his eyelids and that it was as close to perfect as he has ever felt. He quickly changed the topic "What smells good? Feed me." Marshall is talking about how he wants real romance and that nobody else does (including Lionel). Lionel says he knows, Marshall says that he knows that Lionel knows. "I just..." Marshall says and Lionel cuts him off with "Wonder if you're ever gonna have it?" and he sort of whimpers while saying it. He then told Marshall the truth about the other day with the park guy. There was no eyelid-kissing, no wine. As soon as he got in the guys house, he asked him to just please wear his underwear and the guy started playing with his cock. Marshall tells him he does not want to know. Lionel then says that his mom didn't even question where he had been, when he got home. He didn't have to lie. Marshall then sat on the bed and they sat in silence for a moment before Marshall leaned over to kiss his eyelids. They stared at each other for a moment and then started kissing. Kate and Marshall are both sitting in her room. Kate says that her boyfriend hearts her. Marshall tells Kate that Lionel hearts him. She doesn't seem surprised but then he explains that they're actually a thing and that they made out. Kate says "You made out with your BFF? Your beef?" He asks if he ruined everything and she said no that it's good for him. He explains that Marshall is not Lionel's type, that Lionel likes older, muscly dudes and that he is a very different person than Marshall. From This Day Forward Marshall is getting ready for the wedding and Lionel is in his room talking about boycotting the wedding because 'breeders' take everything for granted. He says that anybody who gets married without the country legalizing gay marriage is basically a Holocaust denier. "A person who stands for nothing spends their whole life sitting" he says. Marshall tells Lionel he is stressed and Lionel insists he 'hug it better' so they hug and Marshall asks him to go to the wedding with him, without protesting. Lionel says yes. Lionel and Marshall are both dressed for the wedding and Marshall is feeding Lionel. Kate and her boyfriend Zach come down the stairs and Kate says "ooh, gay boys in love." to which Lionel says "Ooh, straight people in love." Kate suggests they lay of the cock-smoking for the night because of the asparagus. Kate introduces Zach to Lionel, who at first she does not kn ow how to introduce (as a bofriend, friend, etc. of Marshalls. She decides on boyfriend, nobody objects.) Zach asks if they're making food for the happy day, Lionel says it's only happy for some. Marshall cuts lionel off, pleading him to stop. Zach wants to know what he means. Lionel tells him he means that gay people cant get married. Zach says his problem is the way the gay community is attempting to be heard. Lionel cuts him off asking "Just tell me something that no one on your side seems willing to admit to. Deep inside, you actually believe marriage is for pussies and dicks." Zach says he would have to agree with the statement. Lionel scoffs and says "I'm out, Marsh. Sext me when the wedding is over." Later, Kate and Zach are talking about her and he says her mother is sick and she doesn't recognize it because it is an abusive relationship. Kate says that it bothers her that he calls her mother crazy because only she can do that and also that it bothers her that he implied that Marshall is not good enough to get married. She asks him to leave and promptly kicks him out. ...youwillnotwin... Marshall and Kate are karaoke-ing a duet to Do-Wop and Lionel is videotaping them. Lionel and Marshall videotape the event, they take video of Neil's butt crack, Lionel calling it a 'butt chasm', and a video of Neil proposing to Charmaine to which she says no. Later, Marshall and Lionel are in Marshall's room and talking about if they should call each other "boyfriend" or not. Lilnel says "I'm not into everyone's need to have a word for every fucking thing" . Lionel says "'Boyfriend' is just another gross word like 'vagina' or 'love'", saying that he does not want a label like that. The topic moves to buying a new, better camera. It costs $700, but Marshall says he only has $300 so he can't buy it. Lionel says he will go half-in on it. Marshall tells him that that would mean they own property together which is a certain type of commitment. Speaking of the camera, as he pulls his card out, Lionel says "I love our little camera baby. We'll name him Orlando". Crackerjack Marshall videotapes the morning at the Gregson's house, on the camera the he and Lionel bought together, because he wanted to document the first day of Tara's college. In calss, the teachers tells the class that their first assignment is a short film and that he will pick the groups randomly. Lionel, Marshall, and another gay student happen to be in the group and then a kid with a halo brace. Marshall complains that it isn't random adn that he put them in a group on purpose. It is confirmed that he did that when he goes to their group and tells them he has high expecatations for them. 'Maybe a little razzmatazz, and pathos." Marshall and Lionel are shown in Marshall's room talking about the number of gay kids in their school (11) and class (3). Linel then asks Marshall if they lived in "Fairytown, Homo-hio" would they still be together? Are they together because they love each other or because of simple math? Marshall says he doesn't see those things as mutually exclusive. Lionel sits back down and looks a bit sad. Later Lionel's group is directing their short film and Lionel says "Kern wants razzmatazz, we'll give him razzmatazz" and they start shooting. The movie is about Lionel shooting at Marshall and then the other kid throws a knife at Lionel and kills him. The Full F**k You Finger In Kate's letter she talks about many things and she writes a letter to her unborn niece and tells her to tell Marshall to dump with Lionel. Wheels Lionel wants to drink alcohol and there is nothing else in the house except Schnopps. Marshall says he doesnt understand babies and explains what he thinks babies are. Lionel says "I love how you can be so pretentious, and so completely stupid at the same time." Lionel is bored and asks if he thinks they have porn. Marshall seems a little angry about it. Lionel says there's no vodka so that is his response. Lionel then asks best threesomes in movies. Marshall says Jules et Jim. Lionel implies that's boring and asks what's more depressing, french cinema, or the fact that he is chugging 80-proof mouthwash. Later, in Kate's bedroom, Lionel and Marshall are kissing, then Lionel leans in to kiss the other boy. When he back off of the other boy, he tells Marshall to kiss him. Marshall says its weird because he is in his sisters room. "don't be a fag, Smoosh" he says. Lionel says he will be "Lucky Pierre". He leans the two boys in and almost has them kiss when Marshall suggests they turn the lights off. "Look who's bashful" Lionel says in response. Dr. Hattaras' Miracle Elixir Lionel thinks they should submit the short film they made for class for a music festival. Nobody else thinks they should because as Marshall says, they made it to prove a point to their teacher. Lionel asks why they are "shitting" on the opportunity to go to New York. Noah says that he doesn't want to go to New York for the movie, he just wants to wake up in New York on a dirty futon with a Sudanese cab driver and Mario Cantone. Lionel asks them to give him a little credit. Lionel says they have less than a month so if they don't have a brilliant idea, the only two options are not going to New York, or submitting the movie they have already made. Lionel leaves, the kid with the angel brace leaves with him. Noah suggests he leave, then Marshall tells him to stay and they kiss. Marshall is cheating on Lionel. Noah and Marshall are laying in his bed later and Lionel walks in stating that he did not know that Marshall had company. He asks what's going on, Marshall lies and says nothing happened, Noah tells Lionel that there actually is something going on. Lionel thanks him for his honesty and then says "And fuck you for fucking my boyfriend". Lionel says "Marshall, just, fuck you." Marshall pleas "Lionel" but Lionel cuts him off saying he is nobody's third. Lionel leaves with the camera, telling them that he is finishing the movie alone. Later, Lionel is editing the movie and Marshall walks in. Lionel ignored him at first but they greet each other eventually. He tells Marshall that he put his name in the credits as Co-Writer and Producer. Marshall tells him not to bother. He asks Marshall how far they went "Dick in hand? Dick in mouth? dick in--" he is cut off when Marshall tells him they only kissed. Lionel says "Lovely'. Marshall gives Lionel money, telling him it's $180. Lionel asks what it's for, he tells Lionel it's for the camera, that he will get the rest to him next week, and that he can just borrow one from the teacher. The Electrifying & Magnanimous Return of Beaverlamp Lionel and Marshall are sitting in Lionel's car at night, Marshall is talking about his dad and mom and the talk he had with his dad, then he told Lionel that he made Noah leave. He asked what the fuck is wrong with me? and Lionel told him there is two answers, the real answer or the selfish one, asking which Marshall wants. Marshall asks for both. Lionel tells him that the real answer is that he fears becoming his parents so he has intimacy issues. Marshall then asks for the selfish answer and Lionel tells him "You won't let Noah in because you're still in love with me", Both are silent for a moment before Lionel says "I'll ignore that...crushing silence." Marshall then says "I don't want to talk. Can we not talk? Can you just fuck me? Is that ok?" Lionel is really hurt by this and starts the car. Marshall says "Lionel, don't" and Lionel yells back "Newsflash asshole, no one likes to be used." Marshall apologizes and Lionel tells him to "Fuck off". Marshall begins to cry and then Lionel leans toward Marshall, Marshall leans back to him and they hug tightly. Train Wreck Marshall, Noah and the kid with the angel brace were all sitting in the classroom talking about his trip to New York, he gave them their souvenirs when the principal comes in telling the teacher to let the students know there has been a tragedy. The teacher has a hard time telling them so the principal cuts him off telling the class "Lionel Trane's dead. It was a car accident, last night." Max picks up Marshall and he does not speak the whole ride home. Later, Marshall is in his room, Kate gets home and tried to help Max. She asks what he wants. "Do you want to know what to say or do you want to break in there because I don't know what to say but I can break in any locked door in this house." When they talk she tells him she's sorry about Lionel and that he will always be her second favorite gay because of course, Marshall is her first favorite. Tara comes into Marshall's room and consoles him about Lionel. She shows him a picture of the summer and tells him about that day and about how they saw a movie and that afterward she saw him watching Marshall. Marshall tells her that they were a poor couple together. Tara says she know they weren't soul mates but that Lionel still wanted to watch him. Everyone gets home from the funeral and Kate is trying to lighten the mood. Marshall begins to join her, for his own sake. He says many sentences related to "Trane" and "Train" because of the headline in the paper. Tara comes down the stairs as her most violent alter, Bryce and is cruel to them all. Bryce reads a letter from Lionel to Marshall out loud. "Marshall, we are stars, we will get brighter, and we will shine forever and ever." the letter said, Bryce follows with a light chuckle and "It's funny cause it's retarded, and he's dead". Later, Marshall is shown watching a video of Lionel and him in the basement. In the video, Lionel says , "In ten years I am going to live in a mansion in New York, marble floors, pool boys, famous for being famous." Marshall questions this "Pool boys in New York?" Lionel says right back "I mean you'll go to Manhattan, I'll go to Manhattan. Your Manhattan will be in New York, and mine will be at Kansas State in Manhattan, Kansas. Maybe if I want the marble floors enough, I'll end up someplace in the middle." In the midst of this Marshall begins crying. in the video he asks "You don't dream about any real things?" He only says "Reality star cum movie star--" and he is cut off when Max comes down the stairs and Marshall turns the volume off of the television. Max says he needs men with buckets. Marshall tells Max his bucket is full and it is probably best if he no longer is around the family anymore, for now. Max says that when he went to New York, he seemed as though he has "never seen a building, or a fucking bagel before. Never lose that" he tells Marshall. "Not for him Lionel, and not for her Tara." Crunchy Ice Marshall is carrying a box of seemingly various things when Bryce knocks it out of his hands after calling him not funny and not smart. There is a picture of Marshall and Lionel in the ground and Bryce says "Oh, look. It's your dead boyfriend." Bryce says "Look at that, fools in love". He picks up the picture. Bryce begins talking about how you never forget a first love, never forget their hands, lips, eyes, then says that they're all mashed up in a shitty car and how that's hard for forget too. Alice comes out and begins comforting Marshall about Lionel, talking about Don. "I know what it's like to lose someone. I miss Don very much. It's like losing a piece of myself. But the hurt fades and the love that you shared will stay in your heart forever. Doesn't matter how long you loved him, or how well you think you did it, just that you loved him with all your heart, and the best you could." Alice touches Marshall's face and then becomes Bryce. Bryce slaps Marshall and the two get into a physical fight. They are pulled off each other. Tara apologizes for Bryce's actions. The Good Parts Tara takes Marshall for a late-night drive to Lionel's memorial.